I’ve had a lot of amazing massages in my time (in one of my hats, I’m a travel writer) but I’ve never experienced anything like the lomilomi Hawaiian one I got yesterday. Malalika smudged the room, played the didgeridoo, rang tibetan singing bowls and rubbed me all over (well almost all over) with coconut oil. At the end she said she had two messages from my ancestors. The first was that Laura and I were husband and wife in a previous life and Laura had taken care of me when I was dying. We’d come together again so I could return this kindness. And the second message was that my male ancestors asked me to heal for their side of the family any residual need for control and not feeling. For a moment my inner cynic wondered, ‘Is that the polite Hawaiian way of saying your neck is a bit stiff and your right hip needs to loosen up?’ Then Malalika chimed in: ‘Trust your gut and feel your feelings. Cry all you need. Don’t hold in the tears just because loved ones want you to be over this already. Just be you.’ How nice.