Friends have joked this site should be renamed Lucie’s recovery. But I still think of this blog as being about Laura and I and our love. Of course, Laura has gone and I am now the one recovering. Most weeks for me are like quicksand. Sometimes I am fine and sometimes the pain sucks me under. But I am finding more firm ground and I sense that somehow being with Laura through her final months has profoundly changed me and made my inner core stronger.
Some people think I should go back to work now and pick up where I left off. But my old life is broken apart. I can’t go back and reassemble it. Instead I need to figure out who I am now and what I want to do with the rest of my time on earth. I feel so transformed by our incredible journey and our love (which was refined down to its purest essence at the end. It was as if we were put into a crucible and all the irrelevant nonsense got burnt off). So my plan is to set out on my own spiritual journey and listen to what my soul is saying. First I am headed to the UK for a couple of months to spend time with my family. My dear parents are in their 80s and my nieces and nephews are growing up fast. I am going to plant myself in the bosom of my family and soak up some unconditional love and give back as much love as I can too.