Special Hugs

swan love

I love to wear Laura’s old clothes, especially her wooly socks, scarves and a big blue cardigan that we bought together at Zadig and Voltaire (Laura had lovely taste). It’s a forget-me-not, but more than anything else it’s like being hugged by Laura.  During her last weeks in hospital, I wore an enormous alpaca sweater almost everyday. It was one that my mum made.  She knits things on the large side (‘for your growth’ she would say when we were little). So this jumper (that’s Brit speak for ‘sweater’) is the length of a mini-dress.  Laura loved when I wore it, because it was buttery soft when she laid her head on my lap or shoulder.  For me, it felt like mum had her arms around me, protecting and comforting me in my time of need.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Dear Lucie,

    My prayers are with you this anniversary day. I awoke at 3am and immediately thought of Laura. Much love and many healing hugs headed your way.


  2. So glad to hear that you find comfort and consolation in wearing Laura’s clothes. Your story about your mum knitting things “on the large side” for the kids to grow in, reminds me of the exact words my mum used when she knitted clothes for me as a child. I think it is this European war generation of parents we both have. Everything was homemade and had to be fixed. Nothing was to throw out. A basement packed full of old stuff, for “in case we need it later”. How sweet of you, Lucie, that you felt your mum’s arms around you, and protecting and comforting you when you wore her knitted sweater. I must confess, I wasn’t always so grateful for my knitted clothes towards my mum. I remember a knitted woolen jacket (blue with bright yellow stripes and blue heart-shaped buttons). I got it when I was in grade 1. My mum had knitted it extra large, so I could grow in, but eventually I grew out of it. But this wasn’t a reason to throw it out or give it away. My mum had extra wool saved and knitted on to the sleeves and the bottom all around, to make it longer. Some time, when I was in grade 5, I decided that I wanted to get rid of this old jacket. So I “forgot” it in the gym one day. But everybody, the whole village where I grew up, knew me in this jacket. So the school lost and found office called the same day I left it in the gym, and the next day, I got my jacket back. After some time, later, I made plans to “loose” it out in the fields. I dug in under some fall leaves under shrubs and thought it was well hidden. But the next day, my parents got a phone call, that some nice people found my jacket and they delivered it faithfully at our home. There was absolutely no chance to get rid of this jacket well into my teenage years.


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