Wow. January was a bummer. It felt flat, colorless as if all the air had suddenly been sucked out of my life. I am not a depressive sort. At first I wondered if Laura had upped and left after 3 years. Her time was up and she was gone. I felt suddenly bereft and alone. But it wasn’t Laura that had left, it was me. I had left off tending to the things that make me joyful. I had stopped meditating and stopped going out in nature and stopped listening to my intuition and ended up doing a bunch of things I didn’t really want to do, all of which made me feel worse. And by month’s end I was in bed for 8 days with the worst flu.
When I got to Barbados last weekend to see my parents and sister, my mum said I seemed really subdued. Not my usual lively self. The great plan was to treat my sister to a week in the sun to relax and recover after all her medical treatment and also to celebrate my dad turning 90 this month. Unfortunately we all got sick, except my sister. So she had to run sick-bay-in-the-sun for a week. Still we managed to have fun. And being outside, and with my loved ones, cured me of my blues. Now I am back to tending my well being, meditating and being outdoors and life has come rushing back again. I said to Laura today (for the first time in months) ‘Send me something lovely’. And there in Central Park sitting on a branch was a brilliant flash of scarlet, a Northern Cardinal with a big red quiff and a little black mask over its eyes. He sat there for 5 minutes staring at me while I admired his plumage and marveled at how no-one else seemed to notice him. Then when I got home there was a penny on my doorstep and lights flashing in the living room. Laura’s home….Thank goodness.
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Laura is cheering you on and sending her love whenever you open your heart.
thanks Jamie. it is just remembering to do the practice to stay open…especially in the winter months..!
snarky weather outside today. umbrella broke. going inside to tune up in line with your note.