When I was a little girl, I wanted a sign from God. I had read about the burning bush in the Bible and I’d heard of Bernadette Soubirous’s visions and I thought: “Well, why can’t I have a sign too?” I was probably about 8. My plan was to jump off the top of the stairs at home and see if God would fly me to the bottom (I had lots of flying dreams around this time). The one problem with this plan was if God wasn’t paying attention that day, I could get hurt and I knew my parents would be upset. So instead I balled myself up and lay still on the top step and waited for God to pick me up and carry me to the bottom. I tried this over and over. I even moved down a few steps to give God a helping hand. Nothing happened. And then one day I opened my eyes and I was on the bottom step. Did I imagine it or did something happen? I’ve never been sure.
Over the years I forgot my childish wish. And when I was no longer looking or longing, the sign came (not one but two!). The first was the night Laura asked me to dab her ailing body with water from Lourdes (the place where Bernadette had her visions!). Together we said the 23 Psalm and prayed for a miracle. I asked God to save her, or if that wasn’t to be, to let her die quickly and peacefully. In that moment I saw a vision which I wrote about briefly the night she died (Illuminated – Jan 16, 2014). I saw Laura’s body transfigured into that of Christ’s. She was shimmering with golden light and surrounded protectively by dark hooded figures. Then her body floated up into the air. She turned with the face of Christ and smiled back down at me. In that moment I knew she would die, but it would be alright. The second sign came the hour before she died, when I saw her spirit streaming up out of her body (Laura’s Passing – Jan 19, 2014). That experience changed my life. The veil broke between this world and the next, and my understanding of our being split wide open. Now I am no longer afraid of dying and less afraid of living too.