Who are we..really?

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Lying on the beach in Sicily, watching pretty Italian men play football (with a pair of flip flops wedged in the sand for a goal) reminded me of another favorite holiday sight. A decade ago, my friend Michelle and I were sitting poolside at the Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai, when the Indian cricket team all dived into the pool.

Ever since I did two past life regressions last year, I’ve wondered where our sexual preferences come from. I am a gay woman and although I can appreciate a beautiful male physique, I wonder if I am attracted to women because I was frequently male (most recently a soldier) in my past lives?  I’ve also wondered about transgender people.  Do they sense they are in the wrong body because they still hanker after their old past life self? It makes sense to me that elements of our former lives linger and bleed into this life.  Seeing four past lives explained to me my ‘irrational’ childhood fears of fire and water and also my aversion to bloody violent movies and TV shows (these were all disturbing ways I died in previous lives).

Laura liked to call me her ‘warrior’ (see her blog post Warrior Woman). And one university professor insisted I was the reincarnation of Prince Rupert (how he deduced that I’ve no idea). But from what I saw in the regressions, I was a swashbuckling character, not afraid to fight or take risks.  It was a huge shock. I had hoped I would be a healer, a monk, something Zen. But I’ve come to embrace my warrior self. I’ve a huge reserve of emotional strength and tenacity I can draw on in times of trouble. I don’t know where it comes from, but it is a gift I could give to Laura, and which has served me well since her passing.  By embracing it, I can soften it a little and also let some of that energy go.

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