I’m preparing to scatter Laura’s ashes and say a final farewell to her incarnate form. It is odd, I feel unexpectedly sad about parting with her remains. Perhaps it is because this little box of rubble is all I have left of our human life together. Her beautiful physical presence left such a strong impression on me. I can still picture the curvaceous cello shape of her back, her smile like a big slice of watermelon that ran from ear to ear, those mischievous eyes full of playfulness and naughtiness. But more than that, I can still feel the imprint of her energy on mine. How it felt to be wrapped around her in bed at night, her ardent kisses, or the gentle pressure of her hand in mine.
I know her beautiful spirit is not contained in the little handmade paper box that holds her ashes. But it is all that remains of the bodily form that I adored and which I got to know as intimately as the geography of my own hand.
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The time has come to say goodbye
So sad Lucie. This is hard to do. Probably healthy in the end.
The landscape echoes spirits for me at this time of the year.
I know this is hard Lucie, much love to you.
Perhaps it is not the right time yet to do such a thing. Is there any reason for doing it now? It is all in your hands, Lucie. You alone decide when and what to do. She is yours.
Two quotes you shared with me long ago and now back to you:
Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries. -Truman Capote
There is no remedy for love but to love more. Henry Thoreau