A river of tears

river of tears

January has been a month strafed with pain and loss. I thought I was over this. And there have been lots of good days – days of joy and great highs.  But also days of sobbing and lying on the couch bundled up in Laura’s old fur coat.

Is this a new phase of grief? It seems so. Partly it is trying to open the door and contemplate the possibility of a new love, which has caused such acute pain.  It feels like pulling a Band-Aid off a wound. It requires facing the fact there will never be another Laura, at least not in this life, and that sinks me in tears.

So as far as I can tell. And I have no map for this. I need another period of mourning before moving forward with my life. Grief cannot be short changed, or the healing doesn’t come in its wake. There is no way around this, only through.

 

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “A river of tears

  1. Dearest Lucie Just saw this and wanted you to know that I am sending love. Let me know if it is ok to call sometime over the next couple of days or if I can do anything else for you. If you want some alone time I understand. Go gently my dear friend. 😇💞🌷 >

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  2. Dear Lucie, what I have learned and experienced in my own life since I lost both of my legs is that grief comes in waves. There is no such thing as ever getting over it. Loosing a soul mate can be compared with loosing a body part. Your souls have become one, Laura has become part of you, who you are now since you met her; the person you have become through and because of her. I agree with what Luciane said above, you must let your heart feel what it feels. The only way to “move on” is to accept that you will never love anybody the same way you have loved and will always love Laura. You may love again, in a different way, but there is no time frame you can set for it. It may come on its own time. I hope you understand what I mean and that my words somehow make sense to you. -Angelika xo

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