Before I name my hot water bottle and starting talking to it (as it lies plump on my pillow in its fuzzy alpaca jacket), I should start dating again. It is two and half years since Laura died and I haven’t been on a single date yet. And although, ‘I love to love’ (as Tina Charles sang in one of my favorite disco songs ), there is a part of me which could happily sit out the rest of my life alone. Like one of those WW2 widows who never looked at another ‘fella’, or like Clare, in the beautiful book The Time Traveller’s Wife, I could easily wait until I see Laura again. I know she will come at the end to collect me.
The odd thing is I’m not lonely. I’ve learned the art of being joyful unconditionally, so happiness grows like topsy almost out of thin air. In fact I think I’ve been more lonely when dating in the past. So I am happy with how I live now. But getting to know someone intimately is a beautiful journey and one of life’s great adventures. And if nothing else, I am curious after all that I’ve learned these past few years what a new relationship might look and feel like. But I am in no rush..so don’t hold your breath…let’s just see where the sun, the moon, the wind and the stars carry this heart of mine next.