I’ve meditated for 15 years. I used to wonder; ‘Am I doing it right?’ And ‘What is the purpose?’ My first instructor was a Buddhist. ‘Emptiness is the goal,’ she said. That felt wrong to me. It felt like I was trying to rid myself of myself
During my very first attempt at meditating I felt such a warm glow in my heart. I told the instructor it felt like love. ‘Try to keep away from distracting sensations, ‘ she said.
Sometimes after 20 minutes of meditating I would start to feel a tingle in my spine and little vibrations as if I was getting a chiropractic adjustment. I’d feel more relaxed after. ‘What was this feeling?’ I asked – doubtless annoying the instructor with my lack of emptiness and my propensity to get excited over weird sensations.
Over the years, I began to feel that meditation was really about inner stillness; to create a little room inside to soothe my restless soul and to find peace before leaping head first into the day. When I meditate – even for five minutes – I feel so much happier and calmer afterwards and my day flows more easily.
But recently I’ve started to believe that meditation does something else. It opens a channel to the divine. Sometimes I feel (warning – more weird sensations) little flashes of light all around the crown of my head, a warm golden light inside and a feeling of bliss enveloping me. And sometimes I receive downloads of information. At first I thought it was intuition. But now I think what’s happening is that meditation can still the chatterbox earthly self long enough for the divine, spiritual or higher self (the part that remains constantly holding our hand from beyond) to reach down and infuse us with love and the odd bit of advice and healing. So much for emptiness, it feels more like a soul bath to me.