Honestly sometimes trying to still the left side of my brain (which is busy plotting out what I am going to be doing 6 months ahead of time and sketching out 3 alternate strategies in case one fails) often feels like a waste of time. The fault is mine. I really like that side of…
Photo Booth
the day we discovered photo booth on Laura’s iMac
Love Is All That Matters
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross helped create the US hospice movement (she was opposed to euthanasia because ‘it doesn’t allow people time to complete their unfinished business.’). Her book Life Lessons contains what she learned by sitting at the bedside of the dying. Here are a few of my favorite quotes – ‘Love is all that matters. Love is…
Dancing with Laura
Sometimes at night, I cradle Laura’s ashes or put on our favorite music and dance holding ‘Laura’ in my arms. Her ashes live in a pretty handmade paper box that will biodegrade one day soon when I slip it into the ocean so Laura can swim again with her beloved sharks, turtles and manta rays. Before…
Intuition
For me meditation creates a space in my body like a little clearing in a dense forest. Into this magical space intuition often appears. Words, thoughts and ideas pop up and I see something with great clarity. During Laura’s illness, when we had no time to procrastinate and we had an overwhelming amount of advice,…
40 days
I thought it took Jesus 3 days to ascend to heaven. He was crucified on Good Friday and then 3 days later on Easter Sunday (as Christian churches proclaimed last weekend), ‘Christ is risen’. But according to our vicar friend Rebecca, I got the timing all wrong. On Easter Sunday Christ just rose from the…
Feetsies
A foot snuggle, one of our favorite things to do Laura nicknamed it ‘feetsies’.
At One With The Universe
What if the fabric of the universe (all that seemingly inert space) is actually made up of souls. And what if during our life span some part of that ‘soul-intelligence’ is temporarily housed inside our microtubules (a key part of each cell) and death simply releases your soul back out into the quantum field. That’s…
The Soul’s Journey
When does the soul take wing leaving this life, and how long does it take to travel to the next realm? These are questions that have preoccupied me since Laura’s passing. In movies death is usually portrayed as happening in a finger snap. Even the gravely ill succumb in an instant; the head droops, the…
A happy ending
I just read this online – Ohio sweethearts, Helen, 92, and Kenneth Felumlee, 91, still held hands at breakfast and once slept together on the bottom bunk of a ferry rather than sleep apart. They died after 70 years of marriage, just 15 hours apart. Kenneth’s heart started to fade just after Helen had gone.
Soul Mate Test
When I am not sure how I feel about something (which is surprisingly often), I use Eugene Gendlin’s Focusing technique to cut through all the mental gymnastics and listen to what my body is saying. I used it the first time I met Laura to see if she was the right person for me and got…
The Night Watch
Today is Maundy Thursday. it is not a date I’ve paid any attention to in my 52 year span, not until now. It celebrates the night Jesus asked his disciples to sit up with him before his death. ‘Can you not watch with me one hour,’ he said. Tonight I sat vigil for an hour…
Missing Post
Rootling about in the back end of this blog I found one of Laura’s unpublished posts from October, 4 2014. It may partly explain our obsession with Downton Abbey Laura – Lucie and I love movies and we usually like the same thing. But we can’t agree on what to watch on TV. She wants…
Perchance to Dream Sweetly
The last 2 nights my dreams have been less frantic and I’ve slept more peacefully. Perhaps by hearing the pain and allowing it into my life, like a frightened child, instead of stuffing it away from embarrassment or irritation, it has started to release. And perhaps by giving it a voice it can eventually be set…
Soul Love Forever 