Surrender

When Laura was told last week that she wouldn’t be going home again and only had days or at most a week or so to live, she said calmly, ‘I’m relieved.  I don’t need to fight any more.’  I wasn’t so calm.  Together we have cried a river of tears about being parted.  And I still howl when I am home alone or  just standing in line at the grocery store.

We’ve been reading the amazing tributes pouring in on the blog and Laura has been moved to laughter and tears and greatly comforted by how many lives she has touched.  She is a modern George Bailey (the character in It’s a Wonderful Life).   In her 59 years in New York she has gladdened so many lives and now via this blog (which is read in 48 countries around the world), she is reaching out further than either of us could ever have imagined.

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12 thoughts on “Surrender

  1. My Dearest Laura and Lucie,
    Although Laura, we have not met in the physical form…I feel that I know you energetically. I am so happy that you and Lucie found each other. You both mirrored LOVE so brilliantly for us….Blessings and love to you.
    Susanne

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  2. Dear Laura and Lucie,
    I am thinking of you both and praying for a miracle.

    Lucie, you are so right about Laura — she has touched so many people’s lives and so have you. Though we have never met, I feel I know you by the way Laura has described you to me. You are the love of her life and you have taken such good care of her and her will to live and get better is a testament to her deep love for you. Your loving care has touched so many of us.

    My heart goes out to you Lucie so that is why I’m praying for a miracle because love like you and Laura have found is extraordinary and rare in this crazy world.

    Laura, you know how I feel.. I’m here and praying for you and for Lucie.

    Bless you both.

    love,
    elaine

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  3. Schairie Baby, Laura,

    I have devoured all of your posts (and Lucie’s) and what impresses me is this – what a different, strange and powerful world we live in, where fearful, raw, truthful feelings are put out there, in real time, as soon as we press enter, send, post, submit, etc. You are sharing with complete strangers, as well as people you have known for years and all the people/ time variables in between. With your writing, we are collectively experiencing your soul’s transition to another place. I know you as an artist and as being pragmatic, for lack of a better word, so when you say you are relieved that you don’t have to fight, that is so totally the person I know as Laura and so now, you as artist, are creating and sharing the art of dying.

    I was trying to pinpoint when I first met you, I remember the event and that I also met Orin that same day, I remember it was down at the WTC in 1983 (?) and that is a long time ago. I remember that you had this big lipsticked mouth and beautiful teeth and watching your wedding video (beautiful) I am amazed that you look the same as you did 30 years ago! I attribute that to the fact that you hooked into a classic hairstyle choice early on and you never deviated from it!
    Smart move, gal.

    I heard your laugh, somewhere during the wedding ceremony, I was so glad to hear it! I used work as a release from problems and to laugh and work was great and you were a BIG part of that. On so many jobs, you would come into the kitchen and let out a cackle about something (that is what your laugh is… a cackle) and I would break into the Neil Diamond song, Cracklin’ Rosie, but I would sing it as Cacklin’ Rosie and Ethel Merman style . Sometimes you would come into the kitchen and try and belt a song out too, which cracked me up, like a little kid… you wanted to play, too.

    I was looking at emails of almost 10 years, back and forth, mostly work related, but sometimes a sharing of a photo I took or you took or some website with a petition. All good, supportive stuff.

    We worked together for so many years, we really were like part of a family… a good family and countless times, at the end of a rough party, you would come back and say to me the much appreciated words, “Chicks, you did a bang up job”

    So Laura, I would like to think that the party is not over, but just beginning for you and that when you get to where you are going, the message will be “you did a bang up job, come on in”.

    With much love, forever in my heart, Michele

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  4. Dearest Laura,

    I am still pissed off that you and Kerry woke me up with 4 phone calls and an email written all in caps. Generally speaking I respond quickly. Kerry knows that. And your brain was probably full of toxins, so I blame her. But we all have eternity to work these things out…. but not really, right? Time is the problem. Your illness has really pushed me to think about this.

    I feel that you are the only person I know who may have been able to reverse such a virulent attack as that fucking melanoma. But you know what? You and Lucie reversed all sorts of other virulent attacks in this world.

    The ways in which you have reached out to the community has cracked the code for what this might mean. That entire Gerson trial, while I do not know what you feel about it now, for me was a miracle (except the enemas!)(more about enemas and Ghana if you remind me later). That the two of you were able to so quickly negotiate the necessary changes and hang with them while this attack was being waged against Laura’s body, well, I do not know anything any of us need more than to know that physical vulnerabilities are being looked after, to know that we are safe, to know that someone is listening.

    And then you had friends continually come into the home to help with the juices! And how I wish I could have been one to help chop! Chopping with friends is fun. But Laura, how come you and I never cooked together? We did make Kerry’s 40th party together; that was fun for me. You are so talented. I was amazed by all the little flourishes of your presentation. Having the lettuce spout from curls of smoked salmon. It was a lovely party. How is all that crew?

    And then, you know, you and I let go of each other. It seemed so tangled then, your love of my friend, your breakup, her broken heart, it seemed like all of that would sit between us. Like you and I would never be free to be each other together, but would always be connected by the one who was absent. But now I see how foolish that was. I should have tried to push through. Why not speak about all of this? Maybe sometime, yes?

    I love you Laura. There is no one else like you, and that is the sign of a life well lived. I love those photos you took of your mom at Lucie’s. I think they should be included in the series from your college days. Do you agree?

    Good night sweetheart, sweet dreams,
    Colette

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  5. Dear Lucie,
    Would you please read Laura’s email to her if it is possible
    ? I wanted to say goodbye to her and that I love her, and I wrote it on her email. Many thanks.
    Much love to you both.

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  6. http://www.lauraschair.com/LauraSchair.com/Girl_In_Washington_Square_Park_Fountain.html

    this picture taken by Laura, for me says so much about who she is by what she captures… there is light bouncing off the fountain water spraying into the sky at washington square park… Laura captures the girl reaching out and up to touch these explosions of light. This radiant image captures laura — Laura’s great artistic eye. She is the girl reaching out, she is the water, she is the light, she is that moment in time that is so full of the wonder of life.

    It was just an ordinary day at Washington Square Park but Laura shows us the extraordinary in the ordinary life and then we all become that little girl in the picture.

    I love you Laura – the girl in washington square park fountain.

    xxx

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