This morning Laura grasped my hand and said ‘I’m dying’. The doctors have come to the same conclusion. Her liver is failing and she is now very frail. She no longer eats and just occasionally will allow me to feed her small sips of juice. She can no longer focus her eyes to see clearly, but she knows intuitively if someone nice (or a friendly pooch) is in the room. She is too weak to use her legs now and so instead of going to the bathroom, she is catheterized. She sleeps mostly and sometimes seems to be reaching out to gently touch something or someone. Dr Tickoo, one of the palliative care team, says that when people are preparing to pass it is as if they are being summoned from another world and they reach out for things that we cannot see. Knowing Laura she is probably pinging the bras on the angels.
Today we also received our marriage license (exactly one month after our wedding). When I told Laura this news, she beamed a big smile and said she had something very important to tell me. Ninety minutes later it came out, ‘I love you.’