I’m dying..

This morning Laura grasped my hand and said ‘I’m dying’.  The doctors have come to the same conclusion.  Her liver is failing and she is now very frail.   She no longer eats and just occasionally will allow me to feed her small sips of juice.  She can no longer focus her eyes to see clearly, but she knows intuitively if someone nice (or a friendly pooch) is in the room. She is too weak to use her legs now and so instead of going to the bathroom, she is catheterized.  She sleeps mostly and sometimes seems to be reaching out to gently touch something or someone. Dr Tickoo, one of the palliative care team, says that when people are preparing to pass it is as if they are being summoned from another world and they reach out for things that we cannot see.  Knowing Laura she is probably pinging  the bras on the angels.

Today we also received our marriage license (exactly one month after our wedding). When I told Laura this news, she beamed a big smile and said she had something very important to tell me.  Ninety minutes later it came out, ‘I love you.’

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8 thoughts on “I’m dying..

  1. Laura is definetly pinging those angel bras! You are both blessed, and I feel blessed that you both shared your love and pain so openly through this difficult process. My heart is filled with love for you both.

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  2. My dearest Lucie and Laura,
    This time is so delicate for you both. Be brave and stay in LOVE as I know you both will. I hold you both in my heart as you both transition into a new life. Hugs to you….I am here if you need me.
    much love,
    Susanne

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  3. Dear Lucie and Laura,

    Our thoughs are with you as you make this new journey from this life to an after life. We are with you both. Sending warm hugs and lots of love. Thank you for sharing your love with us all. Kathy and Dan

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  4. Ahhh Lucie. We will all miss her, but you will miss her the most. How lucky we all were to know her. Thank you for everything you have done; no one could have done more. May she rest in peace after such a long and valiant struggle. My love to both of you always.

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  5. Sending lots of love you to both. Though I have never met you Lucie, I am eternally grateful that Laura had such a fierce, yet gentle, partner to see her through this. You both are in my thoughts and prayers and Laura, lean back on the everlasting arms. much love, Kecky

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  6. Lucie…please give her hug and a kiss on the cheek for me! Nic came home and told me that she came to see you both today. I’m sorry for the both of you that this is the end, but I am relieved to know that she will be resting in peace and out of pain. I adore you both and I’m sad to know that the journey for the two of you on this earth will be ending. You will meet again! Lots of Love to you both!!!

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