I’ve come to believe that talking affectionately about departed loved ones conjures them up. It is like rubbing the lamp to summon the genie. A friend and I summoned her departed mother this week. We began by talking lovingly about her mother, did the steps of the reconnection ritual Sue Frederick taught me during the grief workshop at the weekend, and to my amazement and my friend’s delight up popped her mother’s spirit for about 15 minutes. She answered questions, spread love and made my friend chuckle with joy.

During Sue’s workshop, Laura’s big, charming playful spirit was visible to many in the group. She appeared to Sue in a dream the night before class.  Laura and I were wrapping presents and laughing, she says.  ‘There was pure enjoyment with each others presence.  It felt like this is how things always were and always will be.’  The next day Laura told one woman to relay to me: ‘I haven’t changed. I’m still here, right here with you. You are not crazy. I’m behind you, cheering you on.’ And also, ‘Thank you for really seeing me. You are the only one who really saw me.’ Patti also had a vision of Laura. ‘She is holding your heart like a little piece of tiny crystal. It is so precious to her.’

All day long I talked fondly about Laura and occasionally lamented the loss of her bodily presence. Laura was obviously listening. That night when I got into bed, I felt her get in beside me. Soon we were rolling over and over and I was being showered with little kisses. It was so much fun, I couldn’t stop laughing. When I looked at the clock, an hour had vanished. The next night I said to Laura ‘I’m ready!’ hoping the same thing would happen. But nothing. It was just me. She is a law unto herself. She comes when she pleases (or when I’ve shined her lamp a little) and then poof she is gone.