Grief & Loss

  Grief involves finding yourself again. It is not just the beloved who is lost when someone dies. For a long while, it is yourself too. These are the wretched days of feeling lost and of learning once again to walk in the dark and find my way forward. In a very profound way, losing…

Abundance of Spirit

I love dragonflies. I love the shimmer of their iridescent wings and how they can zoom in any direction (including sideways and backwards) helicopter-style.  But last weekend, I had 11 land on me (I’ve never had one land on me before). It all happened in less than 15 minutes, as I sat on my friend…

Premonitions

There are things we know without knowing how or why we know them. Call them soul messages or premonitions. I’ve had a few in recent years. The latest happened before my lovely mum passed in May. Eight days before she died, I had a premonition that this was the beginning of the end. Mum’s final…

Being There

‘Being there is everything in love, in life and in dying,’   – Elizabeth Kubler-Ross (founder of the US hospice movement)    

Disembodied Grief

When mum died, I didn’t see her spirit leave her body as I did with Laura. But I was there by her side in her final hours. And ever since I have a weird disembodied feeling, as if I am not quite here. At first I thought it was a protective numbness. But now I…

Signs and Talking To The Departed

My beautiful mum, who enfolded us all in love all her life, is still here – still spreading her golden love around us. Or so it feels. My sister Andrea and I have been experiencing a golden presence enveloping us. We can also hear her speak to us (offering advice and words of comfort). And…

Janette Young, 19 November 1931 to 22 May 2018

My dear mum, who surrounded me and my family with unconditional love all her life, has gone. She was the kindest person I’ve ever met and like Laura had a beautiful open smile. Her cousin Isabella recalled: ‘She brought the sunshine into the room with her.’ I was blessed to be with her at the…

In Praise of Desire

Instead of feeling anxious about your desires, relax in the certainty that your deepest desires are leading you to the very best expression of yourself.  Your inner voice is speaking to you and that my friends is where true happiness lies – Oprah Winfrey

Resistance

  I’ve taught Tai Chi for over 15 years, but as with everything I am still learning,  I love the fluid movements – the spiraling, flowing dance that soothes my soul and energizes me.  Afterwards I feel calm, alert and balanced inside and out. It looks so soft and gentle. But Tai Chi is the…

Snowman

‘Send me something lovely,’ I asked Laura as I walked into Carl Schurz park, just after one of the March Nor’Easter’s. There was a few inches of snow on the ground and I felt in need of cheering up. If you follow this blog you’ll know that since my wife Laura passed I sometimes say…

Thinking of You

What if thinking about someone lovingly is enough to reach out and touch their heart? No matter the distance between you, what if your thoughts are like tendrils that can strengthen the bond between you? And what if the reverse is also true?  What if by thinking negative, angry or  judgemental thoughts, we reach out and…

Soul Whispers

‘Our eternal identity never leaves us alone in the bodies we choose…In reflection, meditation, or prayer, the memories of who we really are do filter down to us in selective thought each day.  In small, intuitive ways – through the cloud of amnesia – we are given clues for the justification of our being.’ –…

Worry Wort

A few years ago I gave up worrying. I realized I never worried about the right things.  It was those things that I hadn’t foreseen that blind-sided me. Things like getting MS, mum having a stroke and Laura dying. Also worrying takes up a huge amount of mental space and a lot of energy. And as…

Flying

I love the winter Olympics. It is all about flying. Flying across the ice, flying through the air, and sometimes, like Icarus, plummeting from the sky and doing a face plant in the snow. Flying comes naturally to our souls. But our bodies need a little assist. The most bonkers news from Pyeongchang, South Korea,…

Touching Joy

What if the highest form of communication isn’t words, but touch? No, silly.  Not that, or rather, not JUST that kind of touch.  I’ve often said to people I love – ‘I read you through your skin’.  Because I feel a deep non verbal connection just by holding hands or snuggling. Laura spoke wordlessly to…