In a year of extraordinary revelations and discoveries, the biggest awakening came with a bang just before Xmas. After doing the life between lives regression (see The Dance of Spirit), I felt as if I was on heroin. I floated through the world deliriously happy and filled with love. Then two days later, I crashed back to earth. The gulf between that sense of lightness, ease and joy that I had experienced and my ordinary everyday state felt so vast it was unbearable.
“How could I get back that feeling of joy and create heaven on earth?” I wondered. I couldn’t spend my life sitting in Sophia’s regression chair. My first idea was to self-hypnotize. I was so impatient I didn’t even look for guidance. I leapt in and immediately got somewhere. I just don’t know where. It felt like pot-holing in the dark. I couldn’t see anything and had no intuition about what was going on. My body was jerking around and at one point it felt like I was getting brain surgery. But I didn’t know where I was; past life, heaven or just lost in space? It took an hour to count myself out of the trance as I couldn’t speak or lift my hands.
For the next two weeks I was in a terrible funk. I felt as if I had been kicked out of paradise. Laura wasn’t speaking to me either (our communication depends on my being upbeat and having a quietened mind). My backache reached screaming pitch. Four days before flying to England for Xmas, I tried to pick up a hefty oak dining table and my back went crunch. I was in agony. I couldn’t sit, stand or lie down. I kneeled in a taxi as it slowly inched to the nearest pharmacy. I couldn’t make it to the ER and my doctor had gone home for the weekend. There was nothing to do. The universe had said just stop. Stop all the nonsense. Stop and be still for once.