Wednesday was the fifth anniversary of Laura’s passing. Five years. And yet she is still as present to me as ever. On Monday, her dive buddy Jo and I had dinner together and reminisced about her – her charm, her quirks, her struggles, her kindness and her compassion. There is something magical about talking fondly…
Tag: pain
Patchwork Heart
Sometimes my patchwork heart aches so. So many pieces missing. So many scars and repairs. How do we go on? Sometimes, like last Friday, joy evaporates and is replaced with a rush of pain and then the ooze of black bilious anger that seeps out of every pore when I feel dread fear combined with…
Getting Higher..
Sometimes writing down a painful emotion helps release it. After I posted ‘River of Tears’ on Monday, it was as if I had stuck a pin in a balloon or lanced a boil. The negativity and pain drained away. What I’ve also noticed is that once I start to kindle a little joy, it doesn’t…
The Circle of Kindness
What a difference a day makes. Four little acts of kindness helped nudge me out of my funk yesterday. First my mum phoned and said ‘Just come home dear, we’ll look after you!’ I can’t tell you how sweet and heartening it is to have parents who still want to look after you even when…
The Crash
In a year of extraordinary revelations and discoveries, the biggest awakening came with a bang just before Xmas. After doing the life between lives regression (see The Dance of Spirit), I felt as if I was on heroin. I floated through the world deliriously happy and filled with love. Then two days later, I crashed back…
Happy Thanksgiving
Happy Thanksgiving! Thank you all for the little acts of kindness (and the really big ones too) that made the last 18 months bearable. I am so blessed to have had Laura by my side for 3 years and so blessed to have such extraordinary family and friends (old and new!). Last Thanksgiving was a…
When The Body Says No
Oh my goodness did my body put up a fight against coming back to New York. I was wracked with pains, hot flashes, headaches, intense itching all manner of mini plagues the minute I sat down on the plane back to New York. It was almost comic. ‘Alright,’ I said to myself. ‘I get the…
The Air We Breathe
Sitting in traffic in the outskirts of London, looking at all the little homes bang up against the motorway, I thought ‘Wow, how can people live like that? It must be so toxic.’ Then it occurred to me, my building in Manhattan is barely 50 feet from the FDR Drive. Today I counted 16 lanes…
Gerson Revisited – part three
How many enemas & juices are enough? ‘In the beginning the most important part of the therapy is an intensive detoxification of the entire body,’ wrote Dr Max Gerson in A Cancer Therapy (p193). To achieve this, Dr Gerson immediately started his cancer patients on the full protocol of 13 juices and 5 enemas each day….
Gerson Revisited – part one
After Laura died a couple of people sniffed, ‘Well we knew the Gerson diet wouldn’t work. Carrots and enemas – how could it?’ Other people have asked what I think in hindsight about the Gerson Technique. So here goes – Pain + Stamina – The doctors at Memorial Sloan Kettering told us that doing the…
Post Traumatic Stress
Every night I wake up multiple times out of nightmares in which I am frantically running around performing multiple tasks to hold at bay some faceless enemy. I never win or lose, I just battle on and on until I wake up. The nightmares started when Laura was in hospital. I kept thinking that as…
Gerson Therapy Support Group
Laura – Today I joined the Gerson Therapy Support group’s Facebook page and I have been posting there ever since. I’m feeling less alone knowing there are other people I can connect with who are recovering from cancer using the same therapy as I am. People share advice and experiences and offer support. I was…
Brain Waves
Here’s Laura doing her impersonation of Olivia Newton John (it’s all about the headband). OK so she could be a sleeping sushi chef…She is actually trying out a new device called the Fisher Wallace Stimulator to cure her depression, anxiety and insomnia. It worked for that other 70s icon Carly Simon, who uses it for her depression…
Soul Love Forever 