Happy Thanksgiving! Thank you all for the little acts of kindness (and the really big ones too) that made the last 18 months bearable. I am so blessed to have had Laura by my side for 3 years and so blessed to have such extraordinary family and friends (old and new!).
Last Thanksgiving was a difficult day for me, so today I am laying low. Laura could no longer do the Gerson diet, she was waking every couple of hours ringing wet with tumor fevers. She was weak with pain and disease. She said she wanted to eat her favorite Jewish foods (chopped liver, white fish, bagels and lox), so I popped along to Fairway. Walking around the store I suddenly became incredibly angry. I was like the mad person you sometimes see muttering, grumbling and pushing past everyone. I elbowed my way through the crowds to the check out. And then I caught myself. I think I even laughed. A pitiful laugh of self recognition. I had become the kind of rude obnoxious person that I dislike most. And I saw in a flash why. I was in terrible pain. My soul mate was dying and the world seemed oblivious. The store was filled with all these happy families for whom life was going on as usual; picking out pies and treats to celebrate with their loved ones. The distance between us was unbearable.
Today, if you can, be grateful for what you have. To celebrate you only need the littlest thing. Laura and I’s world got so small we became masters of cherishing the tiniest gesture; her head on my shoulder, a couple of glasses of apple juice on New Year’s eve, a moment’s silliness. The next day after Thanksgiving we tried to watch the Bond movie Skyfall. But Laura couldn’t concentrate, so we called it a night. I was tucked up in bed first and Laura (who had been brushing her teeth) skidded into the bedroom in her socks pretending to be a giant spider, waggling her fingers, bearing her teeth and singing ‘A Spider’s touch, a touch too much’ (her version of the Goldfinger song). We couldn’t stop laughed for ages.