Sometimes my patchwork heart aches so. So many pieces missing. So many scars and repairs. How do we go on?
Sometimes, like last Friday, joy evaporates and is replaced with a rush of pain and then the ooze of black bilious anger that seeps out of every pore when I feel dread fear combined with a feeling of defeat and hopelessness. ‘How can the universe allow this to happen?’ I storm, faced with the intense suffering of someone I love.
What helps? To recognize that all I can offer is what I’ve always only ever been able to offer – love, gentle presence and small supportive things that might help. And for my soul to heal? Taking time in nature. This week, I am blessed to have a work trip to the Catskills. Tonight I watched, from my terrace at the Mohonk Mountain House, as the sun turned to marmalade over what looks like 30 miles of mountains and forest. It felt like a soul meeting with time immemorial; reminding me that we are more than these bodies, more than these lives. We are love without end.