Laura Calls Time

Laura

In England, one night, when I was talking to Laura, she said ‘It is time’. I thought at first she meant time for her to move on.  I felt a twang of pain at the thought of her absence. But now I think she meant it was time for me to move on, to head out into the world again and find a new path. It has been nearly two and a half years since her passing and it seems at last the pain of her loss has been transmuted into something else, something which I struggle to describe. There is a new found strength and ease within me, sometimes a state of grace and wonder. But best of all, I have an ongoing gentle companionship with Laura’s soul. At times I feel as if I carry two hearts within me.

‘Would Laura still be at my side?’ I wondered as I prepared to return to New York.  But no sooner had I arrived back home than I started to see huge white shapes, the size of a person, materialize opposite me on Laura’s favorite couch.  Over several hours one evening, a big life-size shape puffed up and disappeared again and again.  I wasn’t scared.  I was delighted.  Was Laura finally going to appear in a recognizable form?  I have longed to see her face since she passed.  But had she materialized even three months ago, it would have floored me, reactivating my loss and longing. But now I felt instead it would be delightful. Very evidently she is still here and I know now that she will be always. I have no idea where life will take me next, but I am ready for a new adventure. In fact, one has already begun, when I wasn’t looking (isn’t it always the way?). It’s the quiet little steps that you barely notice that lead you out of the woods and into a clearing.

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11 thoughts on “Laura Calls Time

  1. “In fact, one has already begun, when I wasn’t looking ”

    I’ve begun to believe that it is the not looking that is important.

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    1. I think Abraham Hicks would agree. The spirits say something along the same lines, we naturally create desires for change, but if you don’t dwell on it, go general and feel good about your life, the universe will bring you the desire without any effort.

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  2. Your blog family has been accompanying you and Laura since the two of you had created this beautiful and unique blog, and we are excited with you to follow all your adventures – wherever this path may lead you. -Angelika xoxo

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    1. We were in Norfolk (UK) on our first vacation together. We had taken a boat out to see the seals at Blakeney and walked on beautiful Holkam beach and at the end of the day as the sun sets (laura is shielding her face from the sun) we’re happy as clams – looking for somewhere to eat. Beautiful memories …

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