In a couple of hours, it will be exactly three years since Laura passed. Three years. It seems impossible she has been gone so long. But there is a beautiful symmetry at work. We were together, as a couple, for three years. And now after another three years the pain of her loss has ebbed…
Tag: loss
On Grief
I’ve come to believe that you don’t heal from grief. And you don’t get ‘over it’ either. Instead you heal around it. The body creates a safe place for it to live on inside. A sort of encapsulated sanctuary where it doesn’t poison your day to day existance with sadness, but where it can just…
The Night Visitor
I wake in the sweet spot, the warm burrow of duvet and sheets after a long night’s sleep and feel a tender embrace encircling me; a hand on my cheek, the other stroking my ear, toes gently scratch and tickle the underside of my foot, and arms pull me in close. ‘Oh Laura,’ I sigh…
Laura Calls Time
In England, one night, when I was talking to Laura, she said ‘It is time’. I thought at first she meant time for her to move on. I felt a twang of pain at the thought of her absence. But now I think she meant it was time for me to move on, to head…
Traveling Light
My handbag was swiped, my watchband broke, my beloved new iPhone is gone. As a result, I’ve been living this last week without much sense of time and with no money of my own, and somehow it is alright. I marvel at the kindness of family, friends and strangers who’ve leaned in altruistically to help….
Bon Voyage
Laura is even funnier now that she is a spirit. I asked her if she is coming to the UK with me tomorrow and she said ‘I’m packed’. I’m glad someone is, because I am not..
Two Hearts Entwined
Sitting on my little mossy green meditation cushion giving thanks for all the blessings in my life, I’ve noticed recently the most beautiful things keep passing by my windows. I live on the 28th floor of an uptown Manhattan apartment building, so my normal neighbors up here are helicopters, blimps and the odd seagull surfing…
Yoga
Laura loves yoga. Or rather Laura loves coming to tickle me during yoga class. Yesterday I found myself giggling out loud after Laura wrapped herself around me as I was getting ready to do ‘boat pose’. It was a bit like that scene in the movie Ghost where Patrick Swayze’s ‘departed’ character comes up behind…
Getting Higher..
Sometimes writing down a painful emotion helps release it. After I posted ‘River of Tears’ on Monday, it was as if I had stuck a pin in a balloon or lanced a boil. The negativity and pain drained away. What I’ve also noticed is that once I start to kindle a little joy, it doesn’t…
A river of tears
January has been a month strafed with pain and loss. I thought I was over this. And there have been lots of good days – days of joy and great highs. But also days of sobbing and lying on the couch bundled up in Laura’s old fur coat. Is this a new phase of grief?…
The Soap Box
I After posting my tub thumping review of the movies Carol and Brooklyn last week, I was twiddling my thumbs wondering what Laura would make of it. I once put her to sleep explaining – at length – how Darwin’s theory of the survival of the fittest was fundamentally flawed. As I reached my triumphant…
Hello 2016!
Happy 2016! Judging by my local Goodwill, it is that time of year to create new space and energy in our lives by letting go of old stuff. Last weekend there was a mini Everest of donations blocking the entrance to the Goodwill. As I stood gawping at the door, more and more people arrived…
Talking To Spirit
Today I heard Esther Hicks (or rather the spiritual entities that Esther channels) explaining how to talk to departed loved ones, and revel in their unconditional love. Esther lost her husband Jerry a few years ago. But he is still a very playful presence in her life. I was so delighted when I heard this…
The Sweetest Gift
Quietly while you were asleep The moon and I were talking I asked that she’d always keep you protected She promised you her light That you so gracefully carry You bring your light and shine like morning And then the wind pulls the clouds across the moon Your light fills the darkest room And I…
Soul Love Forever 