Yesterday I went to the ‘Healing Our Grief’ workshop at the Open Center. It was a beautiful sharing experience hosted by Sue Frederick author of Bridges to Heaven. Sue’s husband died age 37 from cancer and her best friend died the same year. These two tragedies transformed her life, reawakened her intuition and her spiritual…
Category: loss
Out of the Wardrobe
This past year I’ve felt like Lucy in The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, falling out of a cosy wardrobe into a whole other world that I never knew was there. My experiences of Laura’s spiritual presence have opened the door to a vast parallel universe of life beyond life. At first I…
The Zen of Love
‘When you lose a loved one, you suffer. But if you know how to look deeply, you have a chance to realize that his or her nature is truly the nature of no-birth, no death…Pay attention to the world around you, to the leaves and the flowers, to the birds and the rain. If you…
The Remains of the Day
What a joy to finally have Laura’s things back (and some of mine). We parceled everything up in a rush last summer when we moved in together and jumbled up all our things. They’ve been living in her brother Barry’s attic for the past year. Now, like an elephant who returns to nuzzle a…
The Hours
If only I could have back all the hours that Laura and I spent apart during our relationship; the hours we worked, the evenings apart or rare occasions when we traveled apart. My guess is all this time would amount to at least another year together. What I wouldn’t give for those hours now. Time…
My Angel
When I arrived back in New York nearly all the staff in my building (that’s around 20 people) greeted me with hugs. Miguel, one of the doormen, confided that during Laura’s last weeks she had told him, ‘Lucie is my angel. Take care of her when I am gone.’ We both cried and hugged some…
The Big Leap
I am back in New York after 10 weeks away in the UK and I can’t say it is easy. It seems incredibly quiet and lonely after the joyful pandemonium of my sister’s house; Issy strumming her ukele and Ave practicing guitar, Saskia baking ever more lavish cakes and everyone piling into the living room…
Ms Fix-It
Perhaps it is time to stop trying to fix everything? The last 5 months, since Laura died, I’ve been in a mad dash to sort everything. There is some part of me that wants everything to be OK and in its place probably because I can’t cope with any more loss or uncertainty. I’ve just…
Farewell Junior
In My Last Summer this week, one of the five terminally ill patients, Junior, suddenly died. He started to bleed profusely from his cancer tumor and his pain shot up so much the hospital told him he was too ill to go out and celebrate his 49th birthday. His fearless partner Sonia ignored the advice,…
Calling You
Every few days I catch myself thinking ‘I should call Laura’. Then I remember I can’t. My first thought when I arrived here was ‘I have to call Laura and tell her I’ve arrived safely’. For a split second it seemed life was normal and she was just home in New York. I guess when…
Ghanaian Coffins
In case you missed it in comments, Katy Keck posted a link to some outlandish Ghanaian coffins. They are a bit like 50s novelty architecture in Los Angeles (doughnut shaped coffee shop, ship shaped coke factory etc). I am pretty sure Laura would have cracked up at this. Maybe she would have liked a giant…
Talking About Dying
To my great surprise the British media is currently trying to lift the lid on what it means to have a terminal disease and face your own death. Probably due to the huge numbers of people who are currently being diagnosed as terminally ill at midlife and younger. One of my favorite TV shows since…
Soul Love Forever 