Old Marrieds

Today would have been Laura’s 61st birthday.  She died nearly 2 years ago.  Our spiritual honeymoon is over. Gone are the fireworks of the early days after she passed.  She no longer woos me by flashing the lights, spontaneously playing our favorite songs on our computers, making objects jump off the shelves or bang together….

Lily Spoons

Is it only me, or do you also feel that life is full of patterns and leitmotifs that we can only see clearly with time and distance?  Laura knew I loved spoons (and yes, spooning!), so she tried to woo me with her spoon collection on our second date. Over lunch, she whipped out of…

Laura Speaks

If you regularly read this blog, you’ll know I sometimes ask Laura: ‘Send me something lovely!’ And invariably something fun happens. Today I was walking home from the subway and asked Laura to surprise me. I started singing ‘Pennies From Heaven’ in hopes of finding lots of pennies. I guess I was trying to force…

Only Love Remains

We all return to love at the end. A hospice volunteer told me recently that every patient, no matter how angry, dissolves into love in the days or weeks before they pass.  Watching the haunting but beautiful movie ‘Still Alice’ and listening to Krista Tippett discussing Alzheimer’s with psychologist Alan Dienstag, I wonder if alzheimers…

Golden Rain

It is funny, whenever a well-meaning friend or acquaintance hints that I ought to let Laura’s spirit go – as if I’ve somehow got her ghost by the ankles and am holding her captive in this realm – Laura starts being all mischievous and dancing around in front of me.  When someone said it on…

Marry Me!

Laura’s back!  I was reading a book in bed last night and each time I read the phrase ‘Marry me’ (twice) the huge floor lamp in the bedroom went crazy flashing. ‘Oh Laura!’ I giggled. It made my heart leap.  She hasn’t flashed the lamps in months. Possibly because I haven’t meditated in months (oops)….

Acceptance – at last!!!

I burst into tears this morning when I heard the historic Supreme Court ruling. At long last,  same sex marriage is now a right across all states in the US. This is the moment that Laura and I longed for. Our relationship was bookended by historic changes in gay rights. In 2011, we sat together…

The Letter

How often does fate intercede to bring us together or keep us apart? There seems to be divine timing involved in so many things, but most especially love.  In the 1880s, my great grandmother Elisabeth Baxter and her beau were separated by the Atlantic for nearly 5 years. He was a young stone mason, who…

Larkin on Love

‘What will survive of us is Love.’ from Philip Larkin’s poem – An Arundel Tomb

Eternal Love

They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies. Nor can spirits ever be divided, that love and live in the same divine principle, the root and record of their friendship. If absence be not death, neither is theirs. Death is but crossing the world, as friends…

Togetherness

Don and Maxine Simpson met in the1950s, fell in love and remained inseparable for the next 62 years. When they both got sick around the same time (Maxine with cancer and Don after a bad fall), their grand-daughter Melissa knew they couldn’t bear to be parted and put their beds side by side in her…

Swoon

I’ve come to believe that talking affectionately about departed loved ones conjures them up. It is like rubbing the lamp to summon the genie. A friend and I summoned her departed mother this week. We began by talking lovingly about her mother, did the steps of the reconnection ritual Sue Frederick taught me during the…

Twin Flame

One of the most beautiful things that came out of my leap up into the spirit realm (doing the life between lives regression) was discovering that Laura and I are ‘twin flames’, two souls created at the same time from the same energy, which may explain our intense connection and our delight in each other’s…

The Golden Ticket

The morning of New Year’s Eve 2010  I woke up super excited.  I dreamt the night before I had won the lottery.  I almost never played the lottery, so I bought $40 worth of tickets.  The tickets were all duds.  But New Year’s Eve 2010 was the day I first looked at online dating sites….