Unexpected Gifts

When time collapses. When a terminal diagnosis enters stage left, it can feel oddly as if the sweetness of life is condensed. Or as one woman put it in A Time To Live, (a British documentary about 12 people, mostly in mid-life, who have been given a terminal diagnosis): ‘The colors are brighter, the trees are greener,…

Telepathy – the US government seal of approval

In recent months I’ve done a lot of experiments consciously sending love to strangers in the subway or in stores and restaurants. And noticing the relaxing, soothing effect.  People often turn and smile.  So imagine my surprise when I opened Pulitzer prize nominated author Annie Jacobsen’s new book Phenomena.  It is about how the US government…

Subway Karma

I am starting to believe that every little thought and action, no matter how small, has an echo, a response from the universe.  Every little act of generosity, every little act of grumpiness or negativity pings back at us almost immediately.  I suspect once you start to look for it, you’ll start noticing too.  My…

The Guru Within

The guru that you’ve been looking for is within.  Everything that you need is here inside.  All the answers and all the guidance.  You just have to listen. Still the mind and listen, and feel your own truth. I’ve spent much of my life looking for someone to guide me, to give me clues and…

Three Years Ago

In a couple of hours, it will be exactly three years since Laura passed.  Three years.  It seems impossible she has been gone so long.  But there is a beautiful symmetry at work.  We were together, as a couple, for three years.  And now after another three years the pain of her loss has ebbed…

Everyday Karma

I used to think karma played out over a large time span, maybe over several lives.  And during my past-life regression in 2014, I certainly got to see how my bad behavior in one past life, hitting someone over the head with a stone (admittedly after they killed my baby), eerily played out in this…

Laura’s Gift

My dear heart, Laura, was born 62 years ago today.  She has been ‘gone’ nearly 3 years, almost the same amount of time that we were together. And still I feel her presence so sweetly and vividly.  I used to think that she was reaching out  from ‘the other side’ (wherever that is), but now I…

I heart you

Saturday is Laura’s birthday.  This month she has been deluging me with hearts.  I find them everywhere, usually several a day; a heart shaped piece of breakfast eggshell, a wet patch by the bath, 3 heart shaped pieces of gum on the pavement, a tiny heart shaped red leaf, a line of a dozen hearts…

Life Backwards

The philosopher Kierkegaard said a life could only be understood backwards. Perhaps looking back we glimpse the patterns – the footsteps that led us to where we are now. Last night I awoke with a start remembering two funny coincidences that made me think Laura’s and my soul were entangled before we met. I remembered…

When We Die

When you die, whether you are spiritual or atheist, one thing seems quite likely – that you will see a departed loved one (your parents, your old friends) appear at your bedside in the hours or days before you pass.  Those who work with the dying believe they come to fetch you –  to whatever…

The Night Visitor

I wake in the sweet spot, the warm burrow of duvet and sheets after a long night’s sleep and feel a tender embrace encircling me; a hand on my cheek, the other stroking my ear, toes gently scratch and tickle the underside of my foot, and arms pull me in close. ‘Oh Laura,’ I sigh…

Soul Mate

I just heard Abraham Hicks (a bunch of spiritual entities channeled by Esther Hicks) describe a soul mate like this – ‘A twin flame or a soul mate means you’ve met someone from the same non-physical lineage [the same spirit family]…  with the same vibrational intentions..People often describe it as a ‘coming home’ when they…

Laura Calls Time

In England, one night, when I was talking to Laura, she said ‘It is time’. I thought at first she meant time for her to move on.  I felt a twang of pain at the thought of her absence. But now I think she meant it was time for me to move on, to head…

Bon Voyage

  Laura is even funnier now that she is a spirit. I asked her if she is coming to the UK with me tomorrow and she said ‘I’m packed’. I’m glad someone is, because I am not..

Spring into Being..

A little snow and the first sprinkle of Spring flowers this week in Central Park; hellebores, forsythia, magnolias, daffodils and a froth of apple blossom.  I love the arrival of spring.  I can usually tell when it is about to happen because one little tree on the Great Lawn in Central Park is always the…