Three Years Ago

In a couple of hours, it will be exactly three years since Laura passed.  Three years.  It seems impossible she has been gone so long.  But there is a beautiful symmetry at work.  We were together, as a couple, for three years.  And now after another three years the pain of her loss has ebbed…

The Kindness of Strangers

The universe has put the most wonderful companions into my path this trip. Usually  I think of myself as quite a monk-ish person.  Laura was the chatty one.  She could have a group of strangers laughing in 10 minutes.  I was often happier reading a book than socializing. I don’t know what has changed, but…

kiss…kiss…kiss

We were shame proof in our love. Here happily snogging in the lobby of the Ace Hotel AND trying to take a selfie. A bemused young tourist offered to take pictures for us, so we handed him the camera and continued …

Cosmic Joke?

OK so this is getting a little ridiculous.  A small fly seems to have fallen in love with me.  It has been following me around for a little over a week.  It sits on my pillow at night, settles by my desk during the day and flutters about the kitchen while I cook.  It shows…

Butterfly Tickles

Laura has been very busy this week from what I can tell. In case you missed the post in comments, Laura popped up in a dream and tickled our good friend Toni and her partner Jill until Toni was speechless and wriggling on the floor feeling, ‘bathed in a million lights and laughing gas’.  Laura…

Out of the Wardrobe

  This past year I’ve felt like Lucy in The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe, falling out of a cosy wardrobe into a whole other world that I never knew was there. My experiences of Laura’s spiritual presence have opened the door to a vast parallel universe of life beyond life. At first I…

Wonderland

I spent  last week in Wonderland, my nickname for my friend Lisa’s amazing indoor-outdoor house that she and her husband Adam built in the Hollywood Hills. Lisa is the Auntie Mame of design, she is always inventing fun things; a desk like a wheelbarrow that you can trundle anywhere (even outside), a wearable computer  (in…

Grandmothers

  Here are our beloved maternal grandmothers.  Laura’s grandma lived in the apartment below her parents in Forest Hills Queens and lavished her with the love and attention she felt she was missing at home. Laura wrote: ‘I took after my grandmother and liked art. She bought me my first camera a Minolta SLR101 that…

Farewell Junior

In My Last Summer this week, one of the five terminally ill patients, Junior, suddenly died. He started to bleed profusely from his cancer tumor and his pain shot up so much the hospital told him he was too ill to go out and celebrate his 49th birthday. His fearless partner Sonia ignored the advice,…

Loss

Peter Bach, a Memorial Sloan Kettering epidemiologist, lost his wife Ruth to cancer the same month that Laura died.  In last week’s New York magazine he wrote eloquently about his loss. ‘Our life together was gone, and carrying on without her was exactly that, without her.  I was reminded of our friend Liz’s insight after…

Into the arms of love

During her last weeks, Laura started to talk about how she knew she would soon see her father, grandmother and her beloved cat ‘Puddy’ again. She had never talked about the afterlife before and I was surprised and pleased she was so filled with excitement about what would happen. For my part, I’ve come to…

Gerson Revisited – part three

How many enemas & juices are enough? ‘In the beginning the most important part of the therapy is an intensive detoxification of the entire body,’ wrote Dr Max Gerson in A Cancer Therapy (p193). To achieve this, Dr Gerson immediately started his cancer patients on the full protocol of 13 juices and 5 enemas each day….

Gerson Revisited – part two

Laura and I really believed in the Gerson diet and its power to cure cancer and other diseases (we have friends from the clinic currently on the diet who are doing well – bravo, bravo. bravo!!!!). But the founder of the diet Dr Max Gerson is long dead, and his wonderful daughter Charlotte (who we…

Soul Mate Test

When I am not sure how I feel about something (which is surprisingly often), I use Eugene Gendlin’s Focusing technique to cut through all the mental gymnastics and listen to what my body is saying. I used it the first time I met Laura to see if she was the right person for me and got…