In England, one night, when I was talking to Laura, she said ‘It is time’. I thought at first she meant time for her to move on. I felt a twang of pain at the thought of her absence. But now I think she meant it was time for me to move on, to head…
Tag: LOVE
Two Hearts Entwined
Sitting on my little mossy green meditation cushion giving thanks for all the blessings in my life, I’ve noticed recently the most beautiful things keep passing by my windows. I live on the 28th floor of an uptown Manhattan apartment building, so my normal neighbors up here are helicopters, blimps and the odd seagull surfing…
Tolstoy on Suffering
‘They say suffering is our misfortune. But if I was asked would I stay as I was before I was taken prisoner or go through it all again, I would say: “For God’s sake – let me be a prisoner again!” When our lives are knocked off course, we imagine everything in them is lost….
Define Love?
Over brunch with friends this weekend, someone asked ‘how do you define love?’ The answer is not easy. It often wriggles out of our grasp and defies description. But today I am going to try. Why? Because today is the fifth anniversary of the day I met Laura. No better excuse than that.. I think…
Wedding Present
December 15th is my wedding anniversary. This weekend I was thinking about the strange beauty of that day, two years ago. And also – if I am honest – I’ve been missing the two little paper hearts that Laura and I exchanged instead of rings (they used to hang on a thread over the kitchen…
A Fond Farewell
And so it is…Laura’s body (or what remains of her beautiful body) is finally out to sea very near to this beautiful beach in the Dominican Republic. The night before, I slept with laura’s ashes in my arms and felt a great calm and an extraordinary sense of electricity in my chest. We also danced…
Old Marrieds
Today would have been Laura’s 61st birthday. She died nearly 2 years ago. Our spiritual honeymoon is over. Gone are the fireworks of the early days after she passed. She no longer woos me by flashing the lights, spontaneously playing our favorite songs on our computers, making objects jump off the shelves or bang together….
A Home for the Soul
A lot of spiritual teaching demonizes attachment and encourages us to let go and walk a Buddha-like or Christ-like path. It is almost as if we are being instructed to float above the ground detached from our possessions and worldly attachments. But the wonderful Thomas Moore speaks so eloquently of our soul longings. To him,…
Lily Spoons
Is it only me, or do you also feel that life is full of patterns and leitmotifs that we can only see clearly with time and distance? Laura knew I loved spoons (and yes, spooning!), so she tried to woo me with her spoon collection on our second date. Over lunch, she whipped out of…
Only Love Remains
We all return to love at the end. A hospice volunteer told me recently that every patient, no matter how angry, dissolves into love in the days or weeks before they pass. Watching the haunting but beautiful movie ‘Still Alice’ and listening to Krista Tippett discussing Alzheimer’s with psychologist Alan Dienstag, I wonder if alzheimers…
Larkspur for Laura
Whenever I leave my building with my little folding chair under my arm, I joke with the doormen that I am off to visit my office. I often work under the trees in Carl Schurz park where Laura and I used to sit. The great thing about writing is you can do it anywhere. Carl…
Marry Me!
Laura’s back! I was reading a book in bed last night and each time I read the phrase ‘Marry me’ (twice) the huge floor lamp in the bedroom went crazy flashing. ‘Oh Laura!’ I giggled. It made my heart leap. She hasn’t flashed the lamps in months. Possibly because I haven’t meditated in months (oops)….
Acceptance – at last!!!
I burst into tears this morning when I heard the historic Supreme Court ruling. At long last, same sex marriage is now a right across all states in the US. This is the moment that Laura and I longed for. Our relationship was bookended by historic changes in gay rights. In 2011, we sat together…
Soul Love Forever 